Anne Before the diet began
So day 4 sees me back at the Doctor’s and the beautiful Tania was demanding more blood from me ( is there going to be any left for me?) and the most gross thing of all was that I was not allowed to brush my teeth before today’s tests or have anything pass my lips. That is no food or drink not that I am prone to a G&T first thing in the morning but a nice cup of tea or coffee would have gone down a treat. This is the day that izzi decides to have feta cheese scrambled with eggs and pide (toasted no less) and this is washed down with a banana milkshake complete with milk & yogurt. So go ahead and rub it in that I am on starvation row why don’t you. Now not speaking to izzi
Tania makes me swallow a pill that only elephants should be given in extreme circumstances and then she squirts this vile liquid into my mouth which I can only describe as having the taste of wet fish. I am then hooked up to a transistor the size of a house brick which is hung around my neck, what this is going to do is beyond me because now I have given up the will to live and expecting Radio Gaga to start playing from my body. Apparently if I am not turned in to Optimus Prime first then this contraption will analyze the bio chemistry of my body and the nutritional deficiencies. It will also tell the amount of acidity and alkaline through the saliva, blood and urine tests I had to do.
Tania tells me that I have a problem and I am now calling the under taker and writing my last will and testament in my head as she tells me that I have not enough acid in my stomach to digest the food I eat and therefore I have to stick to the diet I have been given for another two weeks…. Whatttttt is she kidding me as I continue to decide what I will wear to my own funeral. Tania now drags me kicking and screaming to the weight scales and believe me at this point all I want is to come back and see the reading when it is 40lbs less, let’s put it that way.
OK I’m done.
By day seven and I want to end this on a positive note, if there is one, I cheated yes I admit Doc I cheated I can honestly say I fell out with the diet sent it packing with all it’s belongings. I had less than a pub measure but I did have it a very very cold small glass of Sur Lie and it was heaven absolute heaven !
Do you ever feel that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired? I mean do you get up in the mornings feeling tired? well I do and I moan about it all the time. So when I was introduced to Richard N Ash and he told me how he could stop me from feeling tired and also help me to loose weight at the same time I was in 100%. Most of you that read my blog regularly will know that I moan about putting on weight and that as a busy Handbag designer of
i bag I am always running around. I moved to New York only 4 months ago and I commute between there and London so I have a rather hectic life. I have been under the weather for the last couple of months and I had put it all down to the travelling, Well that was until I met Doc. So here I am documenting my journey to a healthy sustainable life allegedly, I say all of this with tongue in cheek because I am not sure I believe it will work so let’s see.
Richard N Ash MD
Before I went to see Dr Ash I read from their website the following:
If you like the idea of living a longer,better life, now is the time to take action. Breakthroughs in medical science have made the aging a treatable condition. The Ash Center offers individualized programs that add years to your life.You can feel and look younger, have more energy, a strengthened immune system, improved cognitive skills, better moods and increased sexual function.
Well Amen to that I thought, all without surgery, Book me in!
So I arrived at the doctor’s office, the Ash Center on 5th Avenue (Posh address) feeling really not great, I had aches in my kidneys, headache and was absolutely exhausted, I have to say I was a little bit sceptical as to how alternative medicine works, but having read the statement above was willing to give it a go. Since I got sick around 5 years ago from a parasite and lost 23kgs or around 40lbs ( for those of you who cannot translate). It took me more than 8 months to get well , it was a real struggle and after all the medication I had to take I rapidly put weight on and have really struggled to shed it since what ever diets I have tried. Believe me every diet going has been my new best friend.
So I am introduced to the most lovely nurse Tania, has the most amazing skin (Wonder if she did the program I thought) and she asked me to fill in a bunch of questions on all my ailments and treatments since the age of 5, crikey how long was this bit of paper going to be I was thinking. So Tania then takes my blood pressure and goes through my medical history one more time just to make sure I didn’t forget anything, another 5 hours is going to go by, all the time I was scrutinizing her to see if she had had plastic surgery, because believe me no one has that great skin if they are not still in their 20′s. But guess what I could find no signs, so I was starting to think maybe just maybe this program will work, if only they can make me look like Tania, Happy Days.
Tania at the Ash Center
So I sit and wait for the next procedure and I am so nervous, I felt like I was waiting and hoping at the same time thinking that I was going to get an instant fix and leave 5th Avenue looking like SJP with the skin of Tania (My now favourite nurse). Patience is a virtue ummm! my mother would be proud of me. OK have they forgotten me I am still waiting.
So a really nice guy comes into the room, asks me to strip off so that he can do an MIR scan and an AEG , OMG I am really nervous now, but quickly he tells me I do have a heart he can see it on his screen! what a relief!
So next the nice Dr Ash comes in and sits with me going over the medical history one more time! another 5 hours going by, He tells me that you are what you eat and food is the cause of so many things, he compared it to this:
If you have a mole problem in your garden and you put down some poison but not a lot what happens? they keep breeding and come back. If you keep the moles in a dry basement what happens? it dies…. So now we are changing my diet and we will see if we can eliminate the symptoms of my problems. After you have a blood test. WHAT !!!! - Hold me down….
So the second day of my new diet, goes terribly wrong, I have headaches and backaches that I would only relate to dying, not that I actually know what dying feels like! (of course I am a wimp)they tell me that this is called DETOX!!!!!!really Detox?? order the coffin and slit my wrists now.
They want me to take How Many a Day?
So you think giving up Carbs / Sugars is going to be easy right? well think again, imagine no bread, that’s the toast lathered with butter in the mornings, mid morning bagels I have with my tea or yummie dunkin donuts coffee. Then there is the Panini stuffed with cheese for lunch, ah and don’t forget the cheesey chips (Crisps to the Brits) or if I am really naughty then Pizza. So then can it get worse, oh yes no fizzy drinks not even diet Pepsi then Doc tells me no alcohol, Whatttttttt!!! no wine, he can’t actually mean my daily dose of Sur Lie or Malbec has to go can he? Sorry that’s enough am going to lie down in a dark room and contemplate my fate!
